Coffee Shop: Hot or Not!
For those of you older than 12 years of age, you may recall the early days of the internet. You know, remember those days of clicking a roller ball mouse to check your AOL.com email, watching live NASA pics from the first Mars rover over a 28.8k baud modem, and chatting on ICQ? Well, you can’t get all nostalgic about our dear old internet without bringing up one particular website that was always on the cusp of conversation: “Did you see her pic on HOT or NOT?”, “…could you believe that he actually thought that that sleeveless shirt/super mullet combo was HOT?! …NOT!”
Yes, the HOT or NOT phenomenon was the talk of my campus in the early 2000’s and quickly reached pop culture status. It shall forever remain iconic in the annals of internet history. “But Nathan (I hear you asking), what does this have to do with Coffee?” And, my dear reader, that is indeed a good question to ask because could a coffee ever really be sexy? Well, maybe (and I know a few people who roast coffee that would marry their coffee in a SL28 second if that were legal), but in reality it’s often the “attractiveness” of a coffee shop that draws us in. It convinces us to sit down, have a pour over or three, and stay a while to enjoy a still moment of life whilst sipping one of nature’s most precious nectars.
Of course like any woman or man, there’s always more than meets the eye when searching for that “one” you want to spend time with. And today, right here, I’m going to give you some signals to look out for in order to see if that coffee shop you stumbled across is a NOT (run away and don’t look back) or a HOT (put a ring on it!)
If you read my last post you’ll know I did time in the circus, six years in fact. Over that time I visited and catalogued over 600 hundred coffee shops around North America. After the first few hundred I started to notice trends or common characteristics that would give me a pretty accurate idea of what was about to accost my taste buds once I crossed the shop’s threshold.
As I continued on my quest for quality coffee and the most interesting places within which to drink that coffee, there was a definite correlation between certain indicators and the final product. Hence, I’m going to outline these harbingers of HOT or NOT so that you can make an educated coffee drinking commitment with the greatest of ease.
NOT: If you see these things, run away, and don’t look back!
HOT: Can you fall in love with a coffee shop? Well, these are things that just may seduce you.
There you have it. You can now benefit from my coffee disappointments (and there were MANY!) The next time you venture out into the culinary unknown, at least when it comes to coffee, you’ll be able to call out posers and treat yourself to a coffee experience that your taste buds deserve. Take a shower, put on something nice, and go find a coffee shop that is HOT and worthy of your attention. Let’s have a photo look at these places!